Eli and Joe came over today for THREE days during Thanksgiving break. They'll stay with their Mom on the last days. But today, we had to figure out what we wanted to do. So each of us took a sheet of paper and wrote down our favorite activities. Eli wanted to buy a pet--that was his number one choice. Joe wanted to go to ComixZone for Garflied comics. Both Eli and Joe wanted to go to the Sponge Bob movie. So we did. [It was very fun! we also got to get a new frog. we named]* him Twinky. Yes, Twinky. He's green, very fast, medium-sized, and very froglike.
Eli came to the top of the attic stairs the other day and looked thoughtful. He paused. "Dad," he asked, "is everything either a want or a need?" I wasn't exactly sure what to do with this question. Humm. I tried to hedge, but Eli typically would have none of it. Yes or no. So I said yes, which was wrong! He said, "What about an eggplant, huh? That is neither a want or a need." Somehow I felt like I missed something important, but I wasn't sure what it was, like feeling a surge in the ocean under you and knowing that somthing big just passed by, but not really seeing it.
We were a little at sea, anyway. Eli was unsure yesterday if he wanted to go to Jacqueline's for Thanksgiving; today, he seemed a lot more ok with the idea--I wasn't going to force him--and we agreed to go. Therefore, I do not have to scrounge around for a last-minute Thanksgiving dinner. The idea even struck me of going to a restaurant, but that really seemed pitiful, so I was relieved when we decided to go.
We went and the four boys (Jacqueline's two and my two) played for hours while the adults talked. Adults are so boring! They talk and talk and talk. They hardly ever want to ride on each other's back or scoot across the floor on their backs. There is no good reason for this.
By the time the three of us headed back, we were all tired. Joe and Eli fell asleep in the back seat and I drove. It was dark out now, of course, only a month from the solstice, and the highway was empty and black and I thought a lot about how thankful I am that we have each other.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Secret forts
Since I wrote last, winter came. All the trees dropped all their leaves, and now I have only three more classes before Thanksgiving. Three. I see the boys in the afternoon on Monday and Wednesdays, which means that today they just left. I see them in the mornings too, for some one-on-one time--Eli comes Tuesdays and Joe on Thursdays--but I'm going to be alone tomorrow (no Joe) because I have to get work done.
It's been great to see them this week. I had them all weekend and we went to Drew's birthday party in Endicott, and the boys played and played. We found a rotted mouse corpse in the garden hose--much discussion about that. Personally, it nearly made me THROW UP to see it slither out of the dark hose. Bleh. But then we went to see The Incredibles, a new Pixar movie (Steve Jobs, who runs Apple Computer also owns Pixar, so I like Pixar). The movie was fun: bright, fast, funny, sort of conservative in its message, which is fine. Joe, Drew, Eli and Jackson all loved it. Jacqueline did too, and she sat in front of me, mesmerized.
I saw the boys this weekend, when they began their "forts." These forts are like small treehouses in the attic, constructed out of boxes, pillows, sleeping bags and everything else. They both have one, but Joe has gone crazy over making his. He even has a pad of blank paper, a pad of lined paper, a cup with pens and pencils, a cactus (!) and a vase ("Look, Dad, I decorated it!). Tonight we set up the stereo that I found on the side of the road and he has radio Disney. He is in heaven, and said, "Hey, Dad, why don't you sit down for a minute and talk to me?" I did, too, and he showed me all the parts to his fort. It's great to see him so PROUD.
Eli, however, has put his efforts into other things. He taught me to do karate (the three punches, blocks, and kicks). He's very fast and very nimble, a lot more than I am. He was a good teacher, and I had to say "Yes, Sensi" or "No, Sensi" when he spoke to me. The key thing about karate is *discipline*. Eli also drew on a large chalkboard I found in the attic. Last night it was a still life: grapes, bananas, and all sorts of things. But his good work in these other areas means that he didn't have much time for his own fort. Tonight, as I was wiring up Joe's stereo, he suddenly felt that his fort was dumb in comparison to Joe's. There were some tears, and he said that he felt that Joe was better at a lot of things. We talked a little; I told him that my brother used to feel just he same way when he was younger. And Joe was really kind. He said that Eli was better than he at art and was more creative, too. Joe added also that Eli was better at karate and was much stronger. I told Eli that it was up to him to feel better, not up to Joe to make him feel better, but soon he did feel better, and when I wasn't looking wrote on the large chalkboard the following message:
THANK YOU!
LOVE, ELI
And then made waited on the landing for a good long time before we saw it, and so it occured to me: the one thing that Eli is especially good at is being grateful and happy. That is a very special fort all to itself.
Dad on Wednesday night.
It's been great to see them this week. I had them all weekend and we went to Drew's birthday party in Endicott, and the boys played and played. We found a rotted mouse corpse in the garden hose--much discussion about that. Personally, it nearly made me THROW UP to see it slither out of the dark hose. Bleh. But then we went to see The Incredibles, a new Pixar movie (Steve Jobs, who runs Apple Computer also owns Pixar, so I like Pixar). The movie was fun: bright, fast, funny, sort of conservative in its message, which is fine. Joe, Drew, Eli and Jackson all loved it. Jacqueline did too, and she sat in front of me, mesmerized.
I saw the boys this weekend, when they began their "forts." These forts are like small treehouses in the attic, constructed out of boxes, pillows, sleeping bags and everything else. They both have one, but Joe has gone crazy over making his. He even has a pad of blank paper, a pad of lined paper, a cup with pens and pencils, a cactus (!) and a vase ("Look, Dad, I decorated it!). Tonight we set up the stereo that I found on the side of the road and he has radio Disney. He is in heaven, and said, "Hey, Dad, why don't you sit down for a minute and talk to me?" I did, too, and he showed me all the parts to his fort. It's great to see him so PROUD.
Eli, however, has put his efforts into other things. He taught me to do karate (the three punches, blocks, and kicks). He's very fast and very nimble, a lot more than I am. He was a good teacher, and I had to say "Yes, Sensi" or "No, Sensi" when he spoke to me. The key thing about karate is *discipline*. Eli also drew on a large chalkboard I found in the attic. Last night it was a still life: grapes, bananas, and all sorts of things. But his good work in these other areas means that he didn't have much time for his own fort. Tonight, as I was wiring up Joe's stereo, he suddenly felt that his fort was dumb in comparison to Joe's. There were some tears, and he said that he felt that Joe was better at a lot of things. We talked a little; I told him that my brother used to feel just he same way when he was younger. And Joe was really kind. He said that Eli was better than he at art and was more creative, too. Joe added also that Eli was better at karate and was much stronger. I told Eli that it was up to him to feel better, not up to Joe to make him feel better, but soon he did feel better, and when I wasn't looking wrote on the large chalkboard the following message:
THANK YOU!
LOVE, ELI
And then made waited on the landing for a good long time before we saw it, and so it occured to me: the one thing that Eli is especially good at is being grateful and happy. That is a very special fort all to itself.
Dad on Wednesday night.
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